Category Archives: Celebrities

A new fixation

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Is anyone else watching True Blood? It’s my new favourite thing. I’m a total sucker for vampire TV, especially vampire TV with bad southern accents and plenty of nudity and sex. And I am seriously obsessed with Jessica, played by the stunning, amazingly beautiful Deborah Ann Woll. I always love a redhead, and as a fellow pale girl I especially love a redhead who stays away from all the spray tans and the bronzers and what have you. May I suggest a Mad Men/True Blood crossover where Joan and Jessica hit the town and literally eat some men?

The below clip demonstrates why I love Jessica. Beware – it is a little spoilery.

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You know, I rather like Megan Fox

88889366I know what Zoe said about her (‘glamitus prime,’ lub), and what the Go Fug Yourself girls said about her, and I know that she made a collection of painstakingly rendered fighting robots look like Elliot Gould next to her glassy-eyed acting, but I like her. I like that she’s all pneumatic and tanned and made up and bandaged and literal because we need that. I love that we live in a world where Megan Fox can sit next to Cate Blanchett, reminding the world that for every grade-A Film Actor we need a Movie Star, one with boobs and unfortunate tattoos and a total lack of subtlety. Keep it up, Ms Fox, you make me happy.

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I’m so into you, Nerdboyfriend

You so have the best taste in men, and in clothes, and in finding men and clothes. I just wish there was a lady version, and I wish that lady version would include…

Jane Birkin

Isabelle Huppert

Marlene Dietrich

Pam Grier

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‘But what does George Glass think?’

I didn’t watch the Oscars telecast because I genuinely do not care who wins best actor or actress or cinematographer or Best Boy* or Grip,**but I do care about pretty dresses and Tilda Swinton, so I read the various liveblogs with relish while I was meant to be working on the completion of my research higher degree. So here it is, the Good, the Eh and the OMG I Want To Be You So Bad

* I don’t know what a Best Boy is, but I can tell you I want one.

** I also don’t know what a grip is but I could sure use – LAME JOKE ABORT.

The Good

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Remember that topless Annie Liebovitz portrait of Miley Cyrus from Vanity Fair that had everyone in an uproar? I totally adored it. I thought Miley looked other-worldly, Vermeer-like, which is an odd thing to say for a Disney starlet. I also adore everything about this look. Her makeup is soft and barely there, hair sideparted and positively relaxed, she’s really just letting this incredible dress do the talking. And what a dress! People have been bitching about the belt, but I think the belt makes the whole thing young, regal and just a bit different. Hands-down the best of the night.

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HOLY CATS MARISA TOMEI! This Versace dress is positively magisterial, and her sideswept hair and defined yet discreet make up compliment it perfectly. I adore the hair, the shape, the endless pleating, everything.

taraji-henson-2009-oscars-07I had to Google Taraji P. Hensen to learn that she was in Forrest Gump II, but aside from that I kind of want to be her. The girls at Jezebel have a total crush on her and her classic, elegant style, and so do I. I love the smokey eye with this filmy, layered dress. It’s dramatic but not overpowering in a way that makes me want to bust out the eyeliner.

The Eh

6a00d8341c873353ef01127906017728a4-800wiListen, I love Amy Adams, but that weird pleaty drapey thing in the centre of this dress is just… eh. It looks like someone pinned it up strangely to hem the skirt then forgot to unpin it. Amy is still radiant, though. Viva la palegirls!

freidapinto_oscars_220209Oh, Freida, you are radiantly, stunningly, unfairly beautiful, and this rather dated, slightly frumpy blue number does nothing for you.

The OMG I Want To Be You So Bad

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Sophia Loren. SOPHIA MOTHERCHUCKING LOREN. If I am lucky this is a vision of me in 40 years time swanning about the house on a Tuesday in my costume from Gone With The Wind On Ice, gesturing grandly with a martini glass and harrassing my Best Boy.

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SWINTON. When I was in uni a friend of mine made a flash animation called ‘The Lonely Skeleton,’ where a crudely drawn skeleton danced briefly then shrieked ‘I do what I want!’ That’s the first thing that pops into my head when I see my beloved SWINTON. She does what she wants. She has two lovers, she never wears mascara, she wears Lanvin as though it were a pair of worn out flannel PJs, I LOVE HER.

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Needs more Joan

It’s sad that I didn’t even realise the Golden Globes were on until red carpet photos began appearing in my daily work-avoidance beauty blog reading. Truth be told I don’t really care about awards ceremonies, but I do care about the dresses, the hair, the Go Fug Yourself live blog… and that’s about it.

This year it was all a bit tasteful and boring and subtly, or not-so-subtly, influenced by these ladies:

Oh my word, these women hit it out of the park. I adore January Jones’ polished, slightly relaxed, ever-so-updated version of her Betty Draper curls, and I covet that orange lipstick more than you will ever know. But, as always, it’s Christine Hendricks who completely stole my heart. The piled-up, sticky-outy curls are a bit eccentric, but paired with that geometric black dress and her signature cat eye and pink lip it’s irresistable. Oh, Christine, or Joan, you can do no wrong.

As an aside, I find it really galling when people congratulate Christine Hendricks on ‘daring’ to have ‘curves,’ Hollywood-speak for ‘pull over, that ass too fat.’ I remember watching one interview that I lack the moral energy to look up now and thinking bitch, please, you are talking to motherfucking Joan Holloway. Those aren’t tame, euphemistic ‘curves’ she’s rocking; they are the beautiful, rocky shores upon which the hopes and dreams of countless men are dashed.

And as another aside, I sure do hope Mad Men doesn’t become as much of a sartorial influence as people say it is. They cast these women for a reason; because they are flawless and because they can do a polished, melancholic ’60s look like nobody else, and they do it in some of the best designed sets out there. I’ll definitely be attempting a few more roller sets this year, but I think I’ll leave the full-on 60s look to the professionals, lest I end up looking like, well

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