Oh the boob-manity

Kush Support – A Natural Rest For The BreastsThe funniest videos clips are here

Zoe’s recent post on mysterious boob lines is a timely reminder that, even in the current wintery climate, One’s Face Ends at One’s Boobs (actually, I believe it was Zoe who reminded me of that back in the days of Fruity Beauty). I was lucky, because when I was a mere 12 my grandmother who, bless her, had more wrinkles than a shar pei fresh from the drier, seized me and said ‘WHATEVER YOU DO always take your moisturiser down to your boobs OR YOU’LL END UP LIKE ME,’ thus triggering a lifetime of feverish boob-moisturising.

And remember: just because it’s winter doesn’t mean there’s a sun up in that sky waiting to destroy your lady treasures.  My favouritest thing in the whole entire world is the Cancer Council sunscreen roll-on, because you can carry it in your bag and it won’t explode. Roll it all over boobs, neck and arms whenever you see it. I’m also a huge advocate of extending your exfoliating products down to your boobs, but that is the subject of tomorrow’s post.

Either way, as with the One True Ring, you’ve got to keep ’em secret, keep ’em safe.


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I am in superficial lady heaven. Via Specktra.

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A winter lifesaver


I love winter. While the chill and wind does dry my skin out a little, it’s much easier to add moisture to your skin than matte out overheated, oily slickness. I love coats, and thick tights, and boots, and scarves, and everything. I don’t, however, love the usual frizzed-out, tormented hair, so for the first time this year I bought a cheap knitted beret from Target to hide my shame.

I’m not usually a big hat wearer, as they seem to scream you don’t have to be crazy to wear a hat, but it helps, but keeping your head covered truly does help. For a while I was letting my hair outside the hat, but then I watched the epic French slasher Inside and, as usual, got a new hair idea from the least likely of sources. Right in the beginning the doomed protagonist peevishly twists her loose hair up and pulls a beret over the top, and my life was changed. The only problem is it can be hard to keep all the hair tucked up inside, so I began keeping a couple of bobby pins in my back pocket. Now, when I want to head out on a cold day, I just twist my hair into the loosest of buns, secure with a pin or two, cover with a hat and head out. The hat stops the cold from wrecking my hair, and when I unpin the bun I get loose, soft, frizz-free waves. Perfect.

This might prompt the question, why don’t you just use a hair elastic? Well, I have the world’s most dentable, pliable hair, and I find that hair elastics crease my hair into big, unappealing folds. Pins make better waves, and I reckon you should totes try it.

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Game changer

Apologies for the Image Searched photo - my camera was uncooperative this morning.

Apologies for the Image Searched photo - my camera was uncooperative this morning.

My best friend gave me the most amazing box of delights from Kit Cosmetics, aka baby Mecca, aka the one store we actually breathlessly talk about when we’re out for a drink or two. Oh, the love for Kit is strong amongst my friends. We love their superlative nail polishes, their great range of brands, we love Korres, Mario Badescu, Too Faced, theBalm, everything Poppy King has ever done, ever, we love the friendly staff and great store fit-outs, we love it all.

Anyway, my best friend gave me theBalm’s Hot Mama, a peachy, blush with a gold shimmer often described as a dupe of the ubiquitous Nars Orgasm. Now, I teach 18 year olds, 18 year olds with liberal access to their parents’ credit cards, and this has given me an aversion to Sass & Bide jeans, spray tans, aggressively GHD’d hair, Lancome Juicy Tubes and Nars Orgasm, which they positively baste themselves in before coming to class, but my BF has fine taste, and is also a very pale girl like myself, so I gave Hot Mama a red hot, if skeptical, go.

I also have offensively oily skin, so I am a total shimmerphobe, fearing the slightest hint of iridescence might transform into a greasy mess. When I first brushed a little Hot Mama onto my cheekbones I was apprehensive. There was definitely shimmer, verging on shine, and I didn’t know how it would go during the day. Then, as I was walking to the tram stop, I caught sight of myself in a window and, goshdarnit, that shine was pretty. I finally understood that ‘glow’ all those beauty editors are always going on about. What’s more, I found myself embracing my natural grease glow. While I still blot my nose and forehead of an afternoon, I let the rest of my face do its own thing, and I’m also on the look out for more shimmer products.

So thank you, Hot Mama, for helping me to accept my hideous oil slick of a face youthful dewiness.

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I’d have called it Suspiria


Don’t ask me why, but Cupcake, this peachy Sportsgirl polish with the finest of champagne blonde shimmers, really reminds me of a Dario Argento film. Standing amongst the fast fashion chaos of your average Sportsgirl, it made me want to run terrified down the hallway of a ballet school in a filmy nightdress, curtains billowing, menaced by some unseen presence.

But that’s just me.

Sportsgirl polishes continue to perplex me. I really don’t buy into the hype that price = quality, especially with nail polish. I’d rather one of Rimmel’s beautiful, unique polishes over Chanel’s overpriced, chippy disasters every time. For me, polish wear is determined largely by the base and top coat combination (for me, Seche Vite and CND Stickey), application technique (tip wrapping and the Stickey Sanwich), nail length and shape (short, faintly below the finger tip, and square) and maintenance (slicking on another coat of top coat a couple of times a week, wearing gloves to do housework, opening Coke cans with your house key), and my manicures typically last a week before they get too scrappy to handle.  But Cupcake just killed me. It refused to dry. Refused to. It remained soft and smudgy and wrong for hours, even under my usual fast drying coat of Seche Vite, and I could dent it days later. I really adore this odd, 70s-ish colour, reminiscent of Giallo films and the girdles your grandmother wore, but the formula really spoils it for me. I’ll be on the lookout for a better peach.

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I’m so into you, Nerdboyfriend

You so have the best taste in men, and in clothes, and in finding men and clothes. I just wish there was a lady version, and I wish that lady version would include…

Jane Birkin

Isabelle Huppert

Marlene Dietrich

Pam Grier

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Is it a bad sign that every time I reach for my new favourite everyday lipstick I get this song in my head?

Lipstick Queen’s Medieval is my new favourite thing.  It’s a beautiful, creamy, silky balm with the most perfect cherry red tint. Once again, Poppy King has hit it out of the park. At only $34 from Kit, it’s affordable and luxurious and very, very wearable. With winter coming it really is a must-have.


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